Hello,
Welcome to part 2 of a new series of articles inspired by “Personality – Discover the Power Within” authored by Dr. Rob Yeung.
We have prepared this series for you to become aware of your own potential and make the most of it. We will address one of the 7 basic qualities of personality in each part of the series and accompany you on your journey to get to know your personality.
In the last part, we touched on the effect of knowing your personality on “SUCCESS”, and we also mentioned about “Openness to Innovation” as one of the 7 basic personality traits. We will address one of the 7 basic personality traits in each part of the series and accompany you on your journey to get to know your personality.
Resilience
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work” Thomas Edison, Inventor
I think this quote is a very good example of the underlying perspective of being Resilient.
When we look at the people around us, we see that some people can always remain calm and courageous despite having experiencing setbacks in their lives such as health, unemployment, etc. They are able to cope with numerous difficulties such as rejection when looking for a job, health issues of their loved ones, unemployment. Some people cannot forget a breakup for years or can’t let go of the anger of being fired or not being promoted.
So, how do people who can remain calm and courageous when faced with difficulties adversity go on with their lives through everything from minor problems to serious setbacks? Let’s look for the answer together.
How Resilient Are You?
Evaluation: Give 2 points each for statements 1,3,6,9 and 10 that you agree and 2 points each for statements 2,4,5,7 and 8 that you disagree. Your total score shall between 0 and 20.
If your score is 8 or less, you have low resilience. If your score is 14 or more, you are a person with high resilience. If your score is between 10 and 12, you are a moderately resilient person.
Remember that which of the above you identify yourself with is more important than the score you get. As a person with low resilience? As a person with high resilience? If you had an average score on resilience, you can benefit from the advice intended for people with low resilience.
Your level of resilience is determined by your brain’s fire alarm, in other words, its early warning system. I love this definition by Dr. Rob Yeung He also explained it with an example. If you are a responsible person, you may have a fire alarm in your house. Fire alarms are sensitive enough to detect even the slightest smell of burnt bread.
The amygdala located in the lower part of our brain provides alert to us about anything around that is perceived as a danger. It sends adrenaline into our veins, our heart races, we tense up when it senses danger and it tells us to be alert and causes us to act in fight or flight mode. Our ancestors were able to survive thanks to this warning system of our brain in prehistoric times. Because the slightest rustle from behind could mean being torn apart by a predator in those times.
The alarm systems of people with low resilience work more than necessary and those with high resilience work less than necessary. The important thing here is to recognize your own system and make better use of it.
People with Low Resilience: The Enemy of Self
They live in the past or the future most of the time. It is important for them to have a good job, to be loved, to be successful. They cannot live the present. They worry about the future, worry that something will go wrong and suffer from past mistakes.
They feel distressed when a time limit is imposed, when someone is watching their every step. We worry more when we are distressed. They feel the same as if they are experiencing unusually big problems.
In such situations you have to stop thinking the way that has taken over your mind:
- “Everything is horrible.”
- “I wish I had never done this.”
- “I can’t, it’s too hard.”
Worrying can be helpful in some situations. Worrying shows that one recognizes the shortcomings he/she has and is trying to correct them. When others tell you that something you are doing is wrong, you don’t forget it, you make a note of it in your mind and try to avoid it.
You are capable of detecting the problems in projects and tasks. Try to identify your anxiety with this ability. While others look at the world through rose-tinted glasses, you are able to detect problems immediately since you are critical.
How about worrying less? I can hear you say “It’s so hard to do it, I can’t stop myself”. You criticize yourself much more than others do it to you. This causes you to burn yourself out. You become your own enemy. You worry more than most people about incidents across the world in many areas of your life. You realize that you have worried about certain things that even didn’t have so severe consequences when you look back. How about worrying less, taking control of your emotions and pulling yourself together more quickly?
People with High Resilience: A Living Example of Peace
You are a calm and cold headed person. You cannot get easily upset. For example, you stay continue to be cold headed at work when your boss yells at you for a late delivery to the customer or tells you that he has to fire you. This is the same for your personal life. You think it is unnecessary to overreact to people who are upset or angry about the problems they have, even family and friends.
You rarely get angry and almost never cry. These characteristics make you effective at times of crisis. You are high capable in coping with stress and even do better when you are stressed. People around you trust you when things go wrong. Because you are a person who acts rationally, controls own emotions and tries to find the best solution to problems even in such cases.
While some people constantly see danger around them and worry, you see the world from a more positive perspective. Your point of view dictates that most things turn out well even bad things happen. And this helps you sleep well. You know you can deal with it when something bad happens. After all, nothing is a matter of life-and-death.
You don’t get stuck with your mistakes or shortcomings. Of course one makes mistakes. No one can claim to be perfect. After all, life is too short to burn yourself out.
Differences between people with low resilience and people with high resilience:
Briefly;
It is important to remember that resilience has extents like other personality qualities. A score of 16 indicates that your resilience is high, while a score of 18-20 indicates that your resilience is much higher. This is also true for people with low resilience.
Knowing ourselves is as valuable as it is to take ourselves to a point of balance that will add value to our lives. We can achieve a balance in our lives by implementing Dr. Rob Yeung’s suggestions below. We wish you to put them into practice and contribute to your life…
If your score was low in the resilience area:
- Look for ways to gradually expand your comfort zone. Do this not in big steps but smaller ones. Avoidance does not count as a strategy. All you need is a little courage. Take small, courageous steps every day.
- Take a break and make an analysis your emotions when you are in severe distress. Note down the positive things you experienced, at the end of the day. Focusing on the negative is just a bad habit.
- Your influence over other people depends on how they see you. Try asking questions instead of pointing out problems so that others don’t consider you as a negative person.
- Take a look at Dr. Rob Yeung’s “Your Personal Plan for Confidence, Happiness and Success“ if you have selfconfidence issues. If your score was high in the resilience area:
- Try to get feedback from those around you to find out what you could be better at. Just because people don’t say anything to you doesn’t mean you are perfect.
- Accept that others may see you differently than you see yourself. Respect their opinions. Just a thank you is enough when they provide you a feedback. Trying to explain your point of view can show that you are trying to defend yourself.
- Avoid appearing cold and unfeeling even very little bothers you. Read about people with low resilience and try to learn a little about their worries in this chapter.
Reference: The tests and tables in this series of articles are quoted from the book Personality by Dr. Rob Yeung
